


The Allure of Pain

by hangethetitancrazed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Cutting, Dark, Erwin is an ass, F/F, Smut, Submissive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), We really shouldn't let me write dark things, dominate Hange, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hangethetitancrazed/pseuds/hangethetitancrazed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hange is not the person most of the Survey Corps thinks she is. She has been made into a monster by Commander Erwin Smith, but she does her best to retain some of her humanity. Is Levi the only one who can truly see what is going on with her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Much Pain Can One Take?

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by tardisesandtitans. She has become a good friend of mine. If you have seen this story before, I did post it on my tumblr a few months back.

Hange didn’t know how she convinced him to come. Usually he was scared of her. Who ever said that Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t get scared, they were wrong. Everyone was terrified of Hange. They usually just told her to go spend time with her titans cause that would be better than risking a chance that she might take a chunk out of their flesh. She knew that is why they always gave her criminals and such to torture. What better way to torture someone than have them watch themselves being eaten right before their eyes.  
Still Hange was surprised that he would come upon her asking.  
“Shitty glasses? Are you here?” Levi called into the dark room expecting Hange to pop out at any moment and attack him, “I came because you asked me too. Please show yourself.”  
Hange crept out from behind her bed. “I’m right here,” she whispered knowing that she must look awful.  
“What did you want?”  
“I want you to punish me like you did before. I want it to hurt so much I won’t do anything again,” she could feel tears pulling at her eyes.  
“You are filthy. Who did Erwin give you this time?” he asked not really caring who. He was just concerned with the fact that the front of her white apron was covered in blood.  
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I just felt so hungry,” she whimpered.  
“I hate that he encouraged this,” Levi muttered, “Come here.”  
Hange hesitantly crept closer. “Aren’t you afraid that I am going to hurt you again?” She had taken quite the bite out of his arm last time and had to be sedated in order to calm her back down.  
“You have been fed. So I don’t think you would attack me like last time. Plus I did have my equipment on me,” he replied as he held out his hand and she took it.  
“Please punish me,” she whimpered as he drew her close, “I deserve it for trying to eat you.”  
Levi gently traced his hand over the cuts that Hange had on her wrist. Some of them were still bleeding, which cause the blood to smudge onto his hand. “I wish I could help you quit. You need help, not punishment.”  
Hange was surprised by his gentleness, but it was not altogether foreign to her. He had often showed concern in his eyes for her when they were alone. “Please,” she pleaded, “Make me feel something besides this hunger.”  
Levi hugged her tight and whispered in her ear, “You may be filthy but I care about you. Is it alright if we clean you up?”  
Hange gave a nod. Levi lead her by the hand and down the hall to the bathroom. They saw Armin and Eren duck into a room to avoid them. But they peaked out of the door. Hange thought she heard Eren whisper, “Now there is a site I never thought I’d see. She must have just gotten done with her meal. And does Levi like her?”  
Armin whispered back, “Of course he does. I’ve seen the way he looks at her. She might be crazy but he cares for her.”  
Hange felt a frown spread across her face. She didn’t deserve Levi’s affection, but she knew that he would give it to her because he wanted too. She sort of wanted to go back to her room to disappear in the darkness. She was sure that she would lose control again and had slipped her pocket knife in the pocket of her pants. If she really needed to she could rely on that to calm her down. The sight of her own blood and the pain the knife brought grounded her.  
When they had reached the bathroom Levi pushed Hange in first then looked around the hallway to see that no one would disturb them. He promptly shut the door and locked it. He promised himself that he would not be afraid of her anymore. He knew that this was all Erwin’s fault for commanding her to eat titan flesh to see how it would affect her.  
“Fuck him,” he muttered angrily under his breathe.  
Hange gave him a questioning look, but Levi just shrugged it off as he lead her to the tub. “Get undressed,” he commanded her, “We need to get you clean especially those cuts on your wrists.”  
Hange slowly slipped off her clothes. She didn’t mind baths but this one was going to burn with all of the open wounds she had on her body. She knew that as soon as Levi’s eyes went wide that he saw the worst of the damage was done on her stomach.  
“Hange,” he whispered softly, “You are going to kill yourself one day.”  
“I don’t care!” she replied raising her voice, “I am better off dead.”  
“Please don’t say that.”  
“It’s true…” she said sadly wrapping her arms around her stomach lightly. Some of her blood trickled onto her arm and dripped onto the floor.  
Levi moved in closer. “Will you let me clean you up like old times?”  
Hange didn’t say a word. She just nodded and dropped her arms at her side. Levi turned on the bath water to a nice temperature and ushered her into the tub before slipping off his own clothes and getting in behind her.  
She leaned back against him and winced softly as the water hit her stomach. She gazed at his eyes full of concern. She knew that he knew she was hurting. She couldn’t take this life. She wanted to go back to how things used to be.  
Levi stroked her hair softly and feeling the stickiness of the blood that had found it’s way into her hair. He meant it to be comforting but he did find the feel of her hair disgusting. “Scoot forward a bit.”  
She complied and he gently eased her head down so that it rest in between his legs. He watched as the water turned redder and she winced. “You hit yourself on the head again, didn’t you?”  
She bit her lip and nodded. Levi just sighed. He knew by now this is just what Hange did after she ate. He knew that she hated herself. Anyone with half a brain who was around her would have known that she was hurting. “Damn him!” Levi let out. He could feel his whole body shake in anger.  
Hange reached up and gently traced the features on his face. “It’s my fault I am like this,” she whispered, “Punish me.”  
Levi got an idea but kept it to himself. “Fine, I will punish you,” he said as he massaged her head to get some of the dried blood out, “Cleaning you should be enough of a punishment.”  
Hange tried to keep herself calm but she could feel something inside her wanting to see Levi’s blood spilled out in the tub. She knew it was wrong. She shouldn’t want to hurt him but she did. She wanted to hurt the one person who was showing her a bit of kindness. Before all of this happened she would have done anything to be by Levi’s side. Now she just wanted to disappear. She wished she had died.  
Levi then did something she didn’t expect him to, he leaned down and kissed her lips deeply. She let her natural instincts kick in. She kissed him back wildly and bit his lip tugging on it. It wasn’t until his blood hit her tongue did she realize that she had lost control. She sat up and covered her face with her hands.  
“I am a monster.”  
Levi gently pushed her around so that she faced him and peeled her hands from her face. “ You Hange Zoe are not a monster. You are a woman who has gone through a lot,” he said smiling kindly as his lip bled lightly.  
She couldn’t understand why he was being so nice to her. She had bit him. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.  
“You did tell me to punish you.”  
“I did. But are you sure this is punishment.”  
“It is punishment for both of us. Hange, I abandoned you when you needed me most. I let the commander decide your life when I should have stepped up and told you not to do it. I should have told you I loved you a long time ago. I should have made sure that none of these bad things happened to you. He forced you to eat human flesh time and time again. Hange, he locked you up and I said nothing about it.”  
Hange could hear the rage in his voice. He hated himself just as she hated herself. She could see that now shining clear in those steel grey eyes. Those eyes that always looked sharp to her now showed that there was a weakness in Levi. Hange couldn’t bear it. She leaned in and tried to kiss him as gently as she could, but he had another idea.  
Levi kissed her roughly and bit her lip hard. She let out a gasp of surprise before kissing him back roughly. He loved her. She had heard him say that but should love feel like this?  
He pulled her onto his lap and before she could say anything, he entered her. She let out a scream as he thrust all the way in. She knew she wouldn’t have protested. She strangely liked the pain it caused in her tight vigina. It had been so long since she had been with anyone sexually. The water caused her to constrict around him. It hurt but it felt so good. She moaned softly as he bit her neck.  
Levi grabbed her butt forcing himself even deeper into her. She dug her nails into his back breaking his skin as he thrusted fast and rough. She wondered how this was punishment for either of them. It felt so good.  
She let out a deep moan and he silenced it with a deep kiss.  
Once their lips broke apart he whispered, “I love you, Hange Zoe.”  
It was in the sweetest tone that she had ever heard from him. She found that she couldn’t answer him back. She couldn’t say she loved him too. She had denied herself love for so long, but she could feel it slowly coming back to her.  
“Maybe, I can go back to how I was,” she said wistfully. She wanted more than anything to be the person Levi fell in love with originally.  
“I know that woman is almost gone because no one stood up and said enough,” Levi kissed the side of her neck, “But I am here now. Maybe we can make each other better.”  
Levi bit down hard on her shoulder. She screamed in pleasure and in pain. Levi knew that the only way to get to her now was through pain. Even if he wanted to be sweet to her, he knew the only way she would understand it is if he showed that he could be aggressive. He would protect her no matter what the cost or how animalistic she was.  
He could feel her nails sinking deeper into his skin which caused blood to trail down his back into the water. As long as he kept her pleased, he thought she would be fine.  
She took his chin in her hand and forced it up kissing him wildly before taking his lip in her teeth and growling as she tugged.  
Levi then realized that she had taken control of the situation. He didn’t mind it but he had to be careful.  
“Who said you could stop?” she asked growling in a voice full of lust, “If you are going to punish me do it hard and fast. Devour me whole or I will devour you.”  
He moved so they switched positions slamming her back against the tub as he got rough. She started to pant and whimper in pleasure. He smirked, “You have become more of an animal.”  
Levi let out a grunt as he felt her insides tighten around his penis. She was so damn tight. He was going to cum at this rate. But he could feel her body shuddering as she orgazimed. He thrusted into her deeply and she rocked her hips urging him to let loss. He grunted and they both moaned in a sort of bliss as they finished.  
Levi didn’t care that both of them were now covered in blood. All he cared about was that they were together. He loved her dearly and held her close in the bloody and now cold bath water.  
“I love you,” Hange managed to whisper. She was shocked that the words came out so easily. She realized that she hadn’t been allowing herself to love her. But now being here in his arms made her feel like maybe, just maybe things would be alright. Even if she did still crave human flesh she would try and live a more normal life. She would try and contain this hunger with Levi helping her through it. It would take time to quit this cycle but she could do it.


	2. Who is the Guilty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there is lots of cute smut at the beginning. But beware of the Erwin. 
> 
> Also I'm sorry in advance.

Erwin happened by on Hange and Levi’s little get together. He smiled ruthlessly to himself as he heard Hange’s animalistic moans. “I’ll have to use this to my advantage,” he muttered to himself thinking that surely there would be a good way to get Levi and Hange to do whatever he wanted them too.  
It wasn’t until Erwin heard them finish and he heard Hange say I love you in the sweetest voice he had ever heard her use that he turned to leave. He had many plans formulating in his mind. The biggest plan was to see if he could torture Hange enough to make her say that she loved him. Erwin was a bit jealous of the way Hange was around Levi. It seemed that among all the people around Hange, Levi was the only one she usually didn’t lash out at right away. If Erwin could train her to be submissive for him, then maybe he could make Levi feel what he was feeling now.  
As awful as Erwin’s intentions were, the new lovers had no idea how he felt or what his plans may hold for them. Levi just held Hange close for a bit longer before he commented, “We were supposed to be getting you clean but now look what we did.”  
Hange looked down and away.”Yeah...We were,” she said a bit hesitantly, “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry,” came his immediate response, “I told you this was your punishment.”  
Hange let out a sigh and Levi stroked her hair gently. “I will take care of you. I will try to keep Erwin from hurting you,” he said soothingly, “I don’t want to see you hurting anymore, if I can help it.”  
Hange leaned into Levi’s touch. “You think he’s the one causing my pain? It’s my fault that I eat people, Levi. Sure, he suggested that I eat titan flesh, but I was the one who attacked that new recruit and bit his ear off.”  
“That wasn’t your fault. It was because Erwin commanded you to eat flesh that you were driven to that point. Didn’t he also deny you food for months forcing you to eat titan flesh until you were sick?” Levi said wrapping his arms around her.  
“Yeah,” Hange said letting out a sigh, “I suppose he did deny me normal food.”  
“And he still does. We need to get you back on regular food and get him to stop treating you worse than an animal. You are a human being and should be treated as such.”  
“No, Levi. I really am a monster, even if Erwin had a hand in making me this way.”  
“Hange, listen to yourself,” Levi pleaded, “You are only doing what he wants you to do. You are hurting because of listening to him. You need to try and stop.”  
“But he is our commander. Even you listen to his commands.”  
“We both need to stop listening to him and make our own choices. Hange, I love you and I can’t stand to see you this way. Even if I don’t outwardly show my affections for you, the feeling I had when I first met you was one of falling and never wanting to get back up unless it was by your side. I wanted to be with you from that moment and I just didn’t know if I should trust that feeling.”  
“I knew you were someone I wanted to be with instantly too. But how do I stop listening to the man that has kept me from danger before I even met you? I cared about him once too.”  
“Damn it Hange! I don’t know!” his voice raised in frustration which cause Hange to slip out of his arms and coware. Levi shook his head to clear the anger he was feeling then reached out and stroked her cheek. Hange shivered from the touch but stayed very still. “I’m just frustrated at the situation. I’m sorry,” he said as softly as he could as to not frighten her more.  
Hange nodded in response and drew closer to Levi. “Can we get me bathed and back in my room...I don’t feel comfortable here.”  
“Of course. It is actually getting pretty cold in here. Besides getting you bathed and back to your room would probably do you some good,” he replied as he drew some clean bath water, “I unfortunately have other things I have to attend to.”  
Hange felt at a loss for words. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted him to stay with her for the rest of the day but even she knew that wasn’t possible. She felt his hands slip into her hair as he lathered it with soap. Hange didn’t even feel the irritation it caused her head wound. She was just in her own little world until Levi’s voice broke her out of her trance.  
“Please don’t look so sad. I’ll stay the night with you.”  
“Really?” Hange replied and her eyes lit up with the hope of spending more time with him but they quickly dimmed, “I might hurt you.”  
“If it comes to that I do have a sedative I can give you. But honestly you did really well when you were with me just now.”  
“I won’t be fed for the rest of the day…”  
“I can bring you something from the kitchen,” Levi promised, “I won’t see you starve again.”  
“Thank you,” she whispered back before she kissed his lips lightly.  
Levi kissed her back before he gently pushed on her shoulder to indicate that he wanted to rinse her hair out.  
Hange followed his motion and laid back in the water letting her hair fan out behind her. She could feel his fingers as he worked out the soap from her hair. She felt herself wince softly has his fingers brushed up against where she had hit her head against the wall.  
“You really should stop punishing yourself,” Levi whispered as he finished with her hair and she scooted back into his lap.  
“Can I wash you?” Hange asked a bit nervously.  
Levi nodded and silently handed her the soap. Hange took it and could feel the small blush that spread rapidly across her face. She felt a warm feeling growing in her chest as her heart beat faster. She was going to tell Levi to stand up but he already had, so she could get at his body. She almost instantly wanted to avoid looking at him seeing as now she could see his naked body in front of her. But her curiosity had her looking him up and down.  
This wasn’t the first time she had seen him naked but it was certainly the first time something intimate had happened between them. She found herself trying to memorize everything from the way his hair parted to the tips of his toes which he was curling and uncurling beneath the water as he waited for her to be done eyeing him. She looked back up at his face and noticed he was slightly blushing as their eyes made contact.  
“You look really cute when you blush, my little clean freak,” Hange said in a voice that was much more possessive than she meant it to be.  
“Now when did I tell you that I was yours?” Levi replied with a chuckle and a smile.  
Hange stuck out her lower lip in a pout which caused him to laugh more. “I was yours whether I voiced it or not,” he said offering her his hand to help her stand.  
She took the hand he offer and as she got up she stuck her tongue out at him before grabbing his penis. “So since you are mine, I won’t ever have to ask to do this?” she asked as she let her hand slide up and down his length.  
Levi gasped in pleasure. “You hardly have to ask.”  
Oh how that gasp was music to Hange’s ears, but she had to remember to be careful. She could become violent when turned on and his blood right now would probably turn her on more. She shook her head to clear all the violent images that had started to fill her head. One of which involved biting Levi’s penis. She really didn’t wish to destroy her lovely clean freak’s body in anyway. She would much rather leave it whole if she could resist her urge.  
Instead of giving into her urge, she lathered her hands with soap before starting to wash Levi making sure she got every part of his body that she could. She noticed how his breath hitched when she touched him in intimate places.  
“You aren’t making this easy,” she growled softly.  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he stood on his tiptoes kiss her.  
Hange bit his lip as she kissed him back. To which Levi retaliated by sticking two of his fingers inside her tight vagina. She moaned deeply as she tried not to let her lustful side get the better of her.  
She only released his lip after he slide his fingers out of her. She could feel a whimper rising in her throat to indicate that she wanted more. But if she pressed for more she knew this time that she would almost kill him. She sighed and calmed herself down enough to form words. “Can you wash my body and get me back to my room quickly. I’m pretty sure I’ll rip you apart if we continue like this.”  
Levi nodded in agreement seeing that Hange was hardly holding onto her humanity. He could see the animal she seemed to be holding back. All he wanted to do was to comfort her and make her feel loved but he knew that they had pushed the boundaries. He would have to wait for another day.  
He stroked her cheek before he finished washing her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  
“No, I should be the one who’s sorry. If I was normal, we could have continued. I would have loved to shortie. Please believe me when I say that-”  
“I know,” he said cutting her off, “But you are not used to intimacy. I can wait forever for you to be able to ignore those urges. I want to help you be able to love. I love you, Hange.”  
She leaned in and kisses his forehead. “Thank you for loving me and staying around.”  
Levi felt a blush spread across his face which he tried to play off like he his nose started to itch before he plastered his straight face back on. “I’ll always be here for you.”  
~~~~~  
Levi had lead Hange back to her room after they were done bathing. She now lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling thinking of all that had transpired between her and Levi. She could hardly believe that this man had made love to her. She wanted more of him but she knew she would have to wait until later when he came to stay the night with her. For now she would just have to be content with daydreaming.  
Hange was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear the door open and Commander Smith come in. So he was able to get close to an unsuspecting Hange. She was startled when she finally did realize he was in her room and standing over her.  
She tried to make a sound but nothing escaped her mouth as she backed away from him. Hange had the urge to attack him as well as to run away from him. Right now something in her was telling her that she needed to get away from him.  
Erwin saw the flight in Hange’s eyes and blocked her way. “It’ll be alright my pet,” he seemed to purr as he tried to sooth her, “Didn’t come here to harm you.”  
Hange eyed him suspecting that whatever his reason for being here, it wasn’t good. She sat still and waited for him to proceed.  
“You know you are really beautiful,” he said as he sat down on the bed and reached out to stroke her cheek. She recoiled but he had switched to grab the front of her shirt. The blonde pulled the brunette close to him and kissed her on the lips forcefully.  
“You will be a good girl for me,” he said in a stern and commanding voice as she tried to squirm away, “Or I’ll make sure you never see Levi again.”  
Hange went instantly still. She didn’t think her heart could bare it if she never got to see Levi again. Her body already ached for Levi to be once again so near to her. To have is lips on hers and even to have him inside her.  
Hange let out a whimper as Erwin kissed her neck still holding the front of her shirt. “That a girl,” he purred letting his other hand wander down her breasts to between her legs.  
Hange gasped as his fingers rubbed over her throbbing clit through her pants. She wanted to be away from Erwin but she knew that if she wanted to see Levi, she would have to let Erwin do whatever he wanted.  
“You sound more beautiful up close,” he commented as his hunger to fuck her grew within him.  
Hange didn’t resist as he all but tore her clothes off of her. She knew what was going to happen. She told herself that she had to be good in order to see the man that had given her back some of her old spark.  
She watched as he stripped his clothes off. Something in her hoped that he wouldn’t do what he was going to.  
Erwin closed the distance between them and pushed Hange down on the bed and forced himself into her. He was mad with desire to feel how it felt to penetrate her over and over again.  
He set up a very aggressive rhythm as he fucked Hange. She wanted to scream and bite him so badly. She was so close to giving into it. So close to ripping him apart as it felt like he was doing to her lower half. Her body protested, not used to this kind of thing.  
Erwin grunted softly as he moved faster and Hange felt a scream slip from her lips. It hurt. She wanted it all to stop.  
It took longer than Hange wanted, but eventually Erwin grunted. She felt his seed spill inside of her. She felt sick.  
Erwin kissed her lips roughly before he slipped out of her. As he was putting his clothes on he looked at her and said, “I will be back tomorrow at about the same time. So you can have as much fun with Levi but you will always belong to me.”  
The words sent a chill down Hange’s back as he left the room. Her body was in shock so it wasn’t until a good while that she broke down and cried. She felt so betrayed and hurt. Before this Hange would have believed that Erwin had at least a little good in him. But now to her, he didn’t have any good in him.  
Something hit her hard then  
“He just might be more of a monster than I am.” .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. I just can't with Erwin in this story. He is not the good guy he can be in the manga.


	3. What does the future hold?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to thank my tumblr friend, Hetaliarandom, for giving me a little bit of inspiration to write cause after Erwin died in the manga I was like shit how do I go about writing this when I know what Levi's reaction was supposed to be. I might have changed it from what I originally intended to do. I know I had notes hidden away in my room on this fic. Oh well. I hope you enjoy this rather tame chapter after the last chapter. And we'll see if I manage to write the next chapter within this next week. If not, I'm sorry.

Hange let the tears pour from her eyes for many hours as she waited for Levi to appear. The pain she felt was almost too much to bear. When she finally heard the door click open and a small tap on its surface, she felt a little bit better. 

“Come in,” she whispered. 

Levi entered with some food and instantly felt that something was wrong by the way Hange was curled up and the smell that lingered in the air. He knew the smell well and had a sinking suspicion what had happened while he was away. 

“Hange, are you okay?” he asked as he set the food he brought for her aside. 

Her only reply was to shake her head as the tears threatened to fall again. 

Levi walked over to her and gently scooped her into his arms as he sat on the floor with her. 

“I'll make this right. I promise.” 

“Please don't do anything against him.” 

“He took advantage of you. He should pay for what he has done.” 

“He could have us both killed, Levi.” 

“Then we have to kill him first,” he replied with a light shrug. 

“We can't do that. We would be considered tractors and will be kill,” Hange said her voice raising with a panic only for Levi’s life and not for her own sake. She wanted him to live more than she wanted to live. 

“If they can't prove that we killed him, then we should still be alright.” 

“How do we kill him? Who will take over the command of the Survey Corps?” she asked thinking fast and about the good of humanity. She didn't even want to start thinking about killing Erwin with her own hands despite what he had done to her. Levi on the other hand, Hange knew Levi was ready to kill Erwin with his own hands by the rage that shone in his eyes. 

Levi though on Hange’s last question for a bit before he replied, “You will lead them. You are the only one with enough skill and respect to do so.” 

“But I'm a monster. I've killed people.” 

“I will help you. We will get you back to how you once were. I will always be with you.” 

“Thank you for believing in me.”

“I always will,” Levi said as he kissed her forehead. 

Hange felt the tears fall from her eyes. Levi was a great man and she felt blessed to have him in her life. 

Levi wiped the tears from her cheeks with gentle fingers. “We’ll get through this. We will put an end to his life. Then you will have no more harm come to you from the Survey Corps. They will follow you.” 

“I fear more for them than myself.” 

Levi hushed her with a small kiss. “It'll be alright. I know it will. You are doing so well around me.” 

Hange snuggled up close to him closing her eyes as she decided she was too tired to argue with him. All she wanted to do was feel safe in his arms and forget what had happened hours before with Erwin. 

Hange was soon asleep in Levi’s arms as he held her, but he was far from tired. His mind was racing with ways to end Erwin Smith’s life. One of his ideas was to impale him on one of his swords, to which he thought better of because of how dirty his sword would become with Erwin’s sinister blood. Another idea that came to mind was to have Erwin on his hands and knees as did the same thing that Erwin had done to Hange before beating him to death. Levi liked this idea better but he needed to come up with a plan to get Erwin in that position. 

An hour or so later, Hange opened her sleepy eyes and looked at her lover lost in thought. She sat up and gently bit his neck without uttering a word to let him know that she was awake. Levi was snapped back to reality when she bit the spot a little harder and drew blood.

“Ouch!” 

“You were focused on your murderous plans,” she commented nonchalantly.

“How did you-” 

“The look on your face gave it away,” she said with a small smirk as she ran her fingers through his hair, “ I do know that look anywhere, especially on you when I’ve seen you kill a titan.” 

“That makes sense,” he replied relaxing a bit due to Hange’s fingers. 

“You should lay down and get some rest with me. You do have a long day tomorrow whether you kill Erwin or not.”

“You make it sound like you don’t mind if he lives.” 

“Levi, he was our friend not that long ago. He remained a just man up until he did what he did today in my eyes. You can’t blame me for holding on to some hope that it was all just a one time thing for him and that he will snap out of this state he is in. He was my friend and commander,” Hange said feeling the tears starting to spill once again, “Maybe I am still too forgiving and care too much. But that might be some of the only things left of my former self. I would rather he turn his ways around and go back to being the friend and commander that we know.” 

Levi held her gently to his chest. His heartbeat calming her a bit as he spoke, “I am sorry. I’m just so angry at him for what he has done to you. I don’t like seeing you like this.” 

Hange tried to swallow hard to keep back the sobs that were threatening to break through. She never thought Levi had cared this much for her. After all those months of becoming what she was and him not saying anything, it was too much for her. She had regain complete trust in him and had her trust in Erwin demolished in a single day. She needed time to process all of this but it was not likely she would get the time she needed. She felt that she would be lucky to get even one night to calm down and think things through. 

“I’m so sorry,” Levi whispered kissing her forehead and then her cheek.

Hange snuggled close to him. “Can you lay down with me?,” she asked really just needing to be cuddled but also knowing that she would not be able to calm down and sleep while sitting like that. 

Levi nodded silently as he watched her closely. He wished he could do more for her than to just hold her. But there was nothing he could do to completely take away the pain that she was feeling. He knew that it would simply have to run its course. 

He laid down with her and held her close. “I love you Hange Zoe. We will figure this out together. You are no longer alone.” 

“I l-love you too,” she managed to get out between sobs. She buried her head against his chest as he stroked her head. She felt that he had no idea what those words had meant to her. 

Hange and Levi both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Hange after she cried herself to sleep and then Levi after he was sure she was asleep. 

~~~~

By the time Hange had woken up, Levi was gone. He had left her a note on her bedside table saying:

I have thought long and hard about killing Erwin. I hate to admit that you are right, shitty glasses. I can’t just jump to that conclusion and kill him. Maybe there is something we can do to change him back to the Erwin he once was. But I swear I am mostly doing this for your sake. I swear if he hurts you again, I will end up killing him. I love you too much to see you go through it over and over again. I’ll be back after 3pm. Please hang in there. Love, Levi

Hange smiled softly at the note as she read it. That man was her short dork through and through. He was bringing about feelings she had dreamed that she would be able to feel again. Her heart fluttered at the thought of how his hands felt all over her and what it had felt like with him inside of her. If she had been asked if she loved him before, her answer would have been that she didn’t know for sure. But now she knew that she loved him more than she had been willing to let her heart do so. It was all because she knew now that he loved her back and was now willing to do anything for her. 

Hange tried to sit up and get out of her bed, but a sharp pain kept her from getting up and tears renewed themselves in Hange’s eyes. She wanted this pain to disappear so she could only feel the good feelings that Levi gave to her. This pain was a reminder of how Erwin had broken her completely the other day.  
She did not want to be obedient to him any longer. She wanted to break away from this life he was forcing her to live. She would get away no matter what it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. You can now tell me what you think or not, that is all up to you my dear reader.


	4. What Is Known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner. Life threw a few curve balls my way. Plus it being my birthday a few days ago doesn't help. Also being more motivated to work on art than writing on my days off. So I did include a bit of smut.

Levi’s day went like it almost always did. He oversaw the younger recruits as they practiced for a mission beyond the walls. He noticed that Connie and Sasha were sword fighting while Armin watched as a sort of referee. Jean and Eren were fighting loudly about who would win if they were to sword fight.   
Levi watch all of this slightly amused by it. He remembered the days when he was that young. Isabel, Farlan, and him had so much energy. They could run about the underground and steal anything they needed. Farlan and Levi often had worked as assassins for those who would pay them well. Levi didn't miss getting paid to kill people, but he did miss Farlan and Isabel. If he could go back and change the choice he made then, he would gladly do it.   
“That's enough practice for today,” Levi announced, “Let's take our horses out for ride.”  
Everyone turned in their gear. Some of them with great pleasure to be rid of it in favor of a ride. Levi was among those grateful for a rid. It would help him clear his head and relax.   
They all walked to the stables and prepared their horses. Levi noticed Hange’s horse in the stall next to his horse. He went over and gently patted the mare’s nose. “How would you like to come out of the stables and get some exercise?”   
The horse seemed to nod at him like it was agreeing that she would like to go out. “Only Hange would teach a horse how to nod at a question,” Levi muttered as he put a harness and a lead rope on Hange’s mare before going and preparing his black stallion to go.   
“You're taking Hange’s horse out?” Armin asked as he came to stop on his mount next to the stall Levi was in.   
“I figure her horse hasn't had a good day out in who knows how long,” he replied as he lead his stallion out. He then took Hange’s mare out of the stall.   
“Is she doing okay? I saw you with her yesterday and she didn't look so good,” the blonde asked as he brought his voice to a whisper.   
“She's not doing well. You know why Erwin has her locked up. She doesn't like hurting people,” Levi replied as he mounted his horse.   
“I figured she didn't,” Armin said with a sigh before his voice turned cheerful, “Eren and I notice the two of you go into the bath together. Eren thought that Hange might rip you apart if you guys got sexual. I said that she would restrain herself from it.”  
“Obviously you were right,” Levi mumbled turning a deep shade of pink.   
“That’s a good thing. Hange really does need someone to love her. She’s always been so sad when I've managed to speak to her.”   
“Yeah…” Levi replied as he began to think about how he really failed her in the beginning. He was so lost in thought for a moment that he didn’t realize he muttered, “I should have stopped it.”   
“ We all had the chance to. You are not alone in this. We could have all stood up to Erwin to protect Humanity’s Smartest,” Armin said trying to reassure Levi, “I could help you two in some way.”   
Levi sighed softly. “Armin, I don’t know what you can do to help. I’m not even sure I really know what I can do to help Hange. I know I can get her eating on a regular schedule at least for the time being.”   
“So if I’m understanding where you are going with this, you want to sneak her normal food since Erwin has been feeding her human flesh,” Armin replied.  
“Yes. If I can’t bring her out among the Survey Corps yet, I’ll have to get it to a point that she can.”   
“Can I help you get her food?” Armin asked then rushed on saying, “I know you are really busy and are around Erwin a lot more than I am. So I thought if I could help in any way I will.”  
Levi thought a bit as the rode out of the stables with the rest of the recruits riding behind them. He could hear their giggles and excitement, but about what Levi didn’t know and could probably care less about at the moment. Armin just rode beside him patiently waiting for his answer.   
Levi finally gave a nod. “If you can help out with getting Hange food, that would be great. You are right about me not having much time with Erwin always hovering around.”   
Levi figured that it wouldn’t hurt to have him help out especially since Levi knew that Armin and Hange had shared a lot of knowledge with each other and excitement at finding out new things. He could also tell that Armin missed those conversations with Hange. She really was the only one who had similar interests as well as intellect as the boy. Levi would have sworn that if she had met Armin sooner in her life that she might have adopted him.   
Levi’s thoughts were broken by Eren racing up to them on his horse. “Hey Armin and Levi!” he called in a merry voice.   
“Hello Eren,” they both replied in different tones of voice, Armin in a happy tone and Levi in a nonchalant tone.  
“You and Hange sure had some fun yesterday,” Eren said in a snicker.   
“I told you and Jean not to listen in and obviously you went and did just that,” Armin scolded.   
Eren just continued laughing as Levi scowled at him. “I don’t even want to know how much you heard,” Levi muttered.   
“Oh come on! At least Hange and you had some fun for once, and you were being so sweet. You always seem like you have a stick up your ass-”  
“Or maybe it’s Erwin that is always up his ass,” Jean interrupted as he rode up to them after hearing his name mentioned.   
“Have you had Erwin up your ass?” Eren asked turning to Levi with the question as Jean laughed.   
“No! I’ve never had him up my ass,” Levi snapped defensively and felt his cheeks blush softly. He hoped that they hadn’t caught his lie and would drop it.   
“You have,” Armin whispered in amazement.   
Levi almost wanted to knock the smart blonde off his horse. “It was a few months after I joined the Survey Corps,” Levi admitted, “But that was a long time ago.”   
“What happened? His cock to big?” Jean teased.   
“No, Erwin simply just got busy and bored of me after he became commander. I just did it because Erwin wanted too. But it did get me to stop beating myself up over a choice I made,” Levi said leaving the deaths of Isabel and Farlan as a choice instead of admitting that he missed them.   
“Oh,” Eren and Jean said together then glared at each other before bursting out laughing at each other’s expressions.   
Levi shook his head and rode ahead wanting to put some distance between the boys and him. He just needed time on his own now and to clear his head of the past that he regretted. Being with Erwin was not all that bad, it was just the stuff before it had been.   
He spent the rest of his ride in peace with the two horses before he turned in for the day.   
~~~~  
Erwin made good on his promise and visited Hange in her room. Once again he took advantage of her. But this time it came less of a shock to her. She blocked out whatever feelings she could have had as he kissed her. She did try to push him away, but he just tied her up and had his way with her anyways. She loathed that man even more, but she still wouldn’t consider killing him.   
Once he left, she paced her room waiting for Levi to arrive with supper. She could feel her stomach growl as it’s gnawing urge to be fill remained unappeased. Hange focused on her stomach instead of what Erwin had done. She didn’t even want to think about what tomorrow would bring. Erwin could possible snap and hurt her.   
Finally Levi rapped on the door then proceeded to enter. Hange was so happy to see that he brought her food. She snatched it out of his hands and kissed his cheek. She was downing the contents in the bowl before Levi even had the chance to speak. He just looked at her with a smile as she ate her meal looking like the happiest little kid he had ever come across.   
“I take it that you were impatiently waiting for me,” Levi said with a small laugh as Hange finished her food, “Or were you just waiting for the food?”   
Hange smiled sheepishly at having been caught being more excited about the food. “Can you blame me?”   
“You know I never could,” Levi said as he leaned in and kissed her lips deeply.   
Hange bit his lip as gently as she could. “Thank you for the food, Shortie.”   
“It’s no problem, Shitty Glasses. Are you feeling better now?”   
“My belly is satisfied for the moment.”   
“Good,” he replied as he lead her to the bed.   
He could smell Erwin’s musk all over the room but he ignored it as he sat down pulling Hange into his lap. She kissed him gently as he started to stroke her hair lovingly.   
That kiss felt so good to her as she made to pin him on the bed. She wanted Levi and only Levi. 

He didn’t protest to her suddenly pinning him to the bed. He just simply went with it knowing that they wanted the same thing in that exact moment. Or at least he suspected it as Hange unfastened his pants. He was already getting hard because of Hange being very dominating. He suspected it didn’t take much when Hange was involved.   
“You’re frisky,” Levi commented as Hange bit his ear lightly.   
Hange just blushed softly as she went about throwing her clothes off. “I need you,” she said in a husky lusted filled voice as she straddled him completely naked. She kissed along his jawline as she pushed him inside her.   
Levi let out a moan and bucked his hips as he moved farther inside of her. He could feel her tight walls around him. He found himself wishing that he had decided to pursue her sooner. He found Hange beautiful and intoxicating above him.   
She let out a loud moan as Levi drove himself deeper inside her. She bucked her hips against him and moved herself up and down his shaft at a rough pace. She was hungry for the feeling of roughness and him inside her. She could feel him rake his fingers across her back giving into her roughness. She knew that he probably would set off her hunger, but at this point she didn’t care.   
Their moans and pants soon filled the room. Levi hoped that no one had decided to listen in on them in their throws of passion and need.   
“I love you,” Levi whispered before he kissed her.   
Hange kissed him back biting his lower lip. “I love you too,” she whispered back as she parted the kiss for a second.   
They continued on with this until both of them were quite satisfied. They moved to cuddling soon after and kisses before that was interrupted by a knock on the door.   
“Hange? Levi?”   
Levi cleared his throat and answered, “We are both in here Armin.”   
“I was told to tell you that we are going outside the walls tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't kill me after the next chapter. To which, I don't know when it will be written and up.


	5. What Will We Gain and What Will We Lose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a mention of another ship. Please enjoy and no killing me. Also this chapter is longer than I thought it would be.

Levi could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Damn Erwin! He didn’t consult with me on this.”   
“He said something about an order to have us ride out and test Eren’s powers again,” Armin replied, “Also that he didn’t want to disturb you while you were visiting Hange. He knows that you’d be likely to almost rip whoever brought you that message apart if you two were doing it.”   
Hange snickered softly as Armin’s cheeks went pink. She knew he couldn’t bring himself to say that Levi and her were having sex.   
“I see that Erwin sent you in case we were in the throes of sexual passion,” Levi grumbled as he got up to put his clothes on, “And I suppose he wants me to go over strategy with him?”   
“Yes, he did want you to come to his office when you were done in here,” the blonde replied.   
“I’ll be right out,” the corporal responded.   
“Okay,” Armin said as he waited at the door.   
“Armin, would you come in and talk to me while Levi is gone? It has been a long time since we have talked,” Hange asked.   
“I would love too,” the blonde replied as he entered to find Levi and Hange kissing goodbye.   
Armin smiled softly. They both looked so happy. He wished that their happiness would last, but he knew that it might not with the uncertainty of what would happen beyond the walls that constantly hung over them.   
Levi nodded to Armin as he left for Erwin’s office. Armin went and sat on the bed next to Hange.   
“You’re in love with him,” he commented as he continued to smile at her and her at him with her goofy grin.   
She really seemed like the Hange Armin first met. She seemed her happy, goofy self again. Armin could almost believe that nothing awful had happened to her and that it had all been a nightmare except for the lines that mired Hange’s wrists. Those wrists spoke of the part of Hange that wanted to die rather than to go on living. Armin hoped now that she had Levi that she would go on living and find happiness and peace for the rest of her days.   
“I do,” she replied letting out a giggle of pure happiness, “I love him so much.”   
“You are much happier now that you are with him. You seem more alive.”   
“I am more alive.”  
Armin and Hange spent most of the evening catching up. He told her all about how Jean and Eren were arguing more and more as of late. He also told her that he has a crush on Jean. And that he might have caught said boy right after bathing and pinned him to the wall and started making out with him.  
To this Hange was shocked, "And he let you kiss him?"   
Armin nodded and blushed deep red, "He even kissed me back. It might have gone further had we both decided to keep going. But we both agreed it would be better to wait."   
"He likes you back!" Hange exclaimed, "You two will be great together."  
"Yeah...But I don't know how to tell Eren."   
"You might just have to tell him that you and Jean are together. Also you should tell both of them not to argue so much or you'll have to intervene," Hange advised.   
“Thanks, Hange,” the blonde replied, “You really do give good advice.”   
“It’s a wonder that I do with all that has happened to me,” she said with a dark laugh.   
Armin grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly. “It’s going to be okay,” he tried to reassure her, “Levi will help you, and I am here for you. I’m sure others will join in now that Levi has a reason to stand up to Erwin.”   
“I hope so,” Hange whispered just as Levi reentered the room.   
The man with the raven hair looked so worn out and untidy. It was odd to see him in such a state.   
“Did you get into a fight with Erwin?” Armin asked.   
“Pretty much,” Levi grumbled, “He wants to take us to the thickest part of the forest past so many places that might have Titans all so that Eren can fight all of them. I argued that it may put too much strain on Eren, but he won’t listen to reason.”   
“That’s insane. There is no way Eren can fight that many Titans without becoming extremely tired,” the blonde exclaimed, “ So what does he propose to do if Eren starts to lose?”   
“That’s where Hange comes in with her brilliant mind. Erwin hops that you’ll be able to come up with a solution on the spot,” Levi replied.   
“So he’s giving me back my position as a squad leader,” Hange said with a laugh, “Does he think that I can control myself when I see blood?”   
Levi gathered Hange into his his arms as tears threatened to fall out of the bitterness and the hatefulness she felt toward herself.   
“You can do it. I made Erwin promise that your team will be the closest riding next to mine.In fact you will be maybe fifteen meters from me at all times. I will help you through this,” Levi tried to reassure her, “Everything will be alright.”   
“I hope you are right,” she whispered into his chest.   
Armin took this as a sign that he should take his leave. “I’ll see you two tomorrow,” he said as he made to leave the room.  
“Tell Jean that I support the two of you,” Hange called out to him.   
“I will do,” the blonde responded as he turned pink and rushed out the door.   
“Armin and Jean, huh?” Levi said with a smirk.   
“I think it’s adorable,” Hange said with a proud smile plastered on her face.   
“You look like a proud mother whose baby just learned to fly.” he said with a smile, “One day you’ll be a good mother.”   
“And you’d make a good father,” she shot back at him before she kissed him deeply, “I would love for you to be the father of any children I might have.”   
“I would like that,” he replied before kissing her back.   
It felt so perfect to be in each other’s arms. Levi trailed kisses down her neck. A gasp escaped her lips as she raked her fingers through his hair. Everything in this moment was perfect. Hange hand no craving for Levi’s flesh. It was nice to simply feel this close.   
Hange rubbed up against Levi, and she giggled as he let out a deep moan. “Someone’s turned on,” she purred.   
“It’s hard not to be,” he replied in a breathy voice because Hange was fiddling in his pants.   
All she could do was giggle in response as Levi kissed her. She had such an amazing laugh that made Levi’s heart leap. This must be what true love must be he thought.   
They spent the rest of the night entangled with each other. There was a bit of love making and a lot of cuddles. It was a perfect evening for the two. It came as a chock to the two of them when a rap sounded on the door to signal that it was time to start preparing for their journey outside the wall.   
“Rise and shine lovebirds,” came Jean’s voice through the door.   
“Have a good evening with Armin?” Hange shot back.   
“I-I-It was good,” came back Jean’s voice before he rushed off to get ready.   
“You had to go and tease him. You know you just gave him permission to tease us whenever he wants?”   
“I know, but I couldn’t resist.”   
“Alright time to get going,” Levi said giving Hange’s butt a good squeeze.   
She let out a yelp then giggled. She got up and started to go about getting ready. “I suppose this means you’ll have to go to your room to freshen up?”  
“Yes, but I won’t be gone long. You can meet me at the stables when you are done.”   
“I haven’t ridden for a long time,” she commented, “I’ll see you there soon.”   
~~~  
Both of them reached the stables within minutes of each other. Levi arrived to find Hange stroking her mare’s nose. She looked so peaceful and beautiful doing something so natural. She turned to look at him smiling brightly.   
“Long time no see,” she said her voice sounded excited and was practically jumping up and down.  
“You’re certainly feeling better,” he said as he entered the stall to get his stallion ready.   
“I’m feeling optimistic about this outing because a certain someone will be near.”  
Levi smiled as both of them prepared their horses to go. Happy glances were exchanged between them all the while.   
Armin approached Hange and whispered, “Thank you for last night. It really did help. Jean and Eren actually apologized to each other.”   
“And did you and Jean have your special evening?” Hange asked with curiosity burning in her brown eyes.   
Armin started to shake his head as Eren lead his horse up. “Don’t you lie about you and horseface. I could hear you guys moaning and sucking each other off. That and he can hardly walk, Armin,” Eren said.   
Hange burst out laughing as Armin turned very pink. “That’s good,” Hange managed to get out.   
Armin shrugged, “You never know what will happen while we are beyond the walls.”   
“That’s right,” Hange whispered while Eren’s voice covered her up.   
“Got to make love to the horseface before you never get a chance too,” Eren giggled,   
“For your information Jeager, I was inside Armin as well,” Jean said cutting off Eren’s giggling.   
Eren looked back and forth between Armin and Jean as they kissed. “How are you not walking funny Armin?” he asked.  
“Guess a little bit of practice,” Armin said with a blush, “Jean is not my first. Plus I do hide it better. Sorry Jean.”   
“That’s alright. I should have known with the moves you pulled,” Jean replied holding Armin close to him.   
“I’m hoping that I don’t have to put up with this stage of love for long,” Eren grumbled.   
Hange smiled at them with a wistful smile. She knew what it was like to think that she had found a perfect love when she was that young. She sincerely hoped that their love would last until they were very old.   
“It’s time to move out,” Erwin’s voice came from the head of the stables.  
Everyone got into their formations after they exited the stables. Hange took up position on Levi’s right flank and Eren on his left flank. They made their way out of the walls without much talking at all. When it was time to spread out, Hange leaned over with great skill kissed Levi on the lips.   
“I’ll see you soon,” she whispered.   
“Don’t go too far,” he whispered back before she pulled off to the right and her squad followed her.  
“Be safe,” he called after her but his words were lost in the galloping of hooves.   
They travel quite a distance before a read flare goes up to the right of them. It isn’t close to Hange’s team, so they make adjustments to go more to the left and continue riding on for awhile until the next flare goes off.   
This time it comes immediately to Levi’s right. He knew it came from Hange’s group as she started barking orders to take the Titan’s down.  
“Moblit, you take the one on the left. I’ll deal with the abnormal.”   
“Hange, that’s too dangerous,” Levi heard Moblit scream.   
“If I don’t do something, it’s going to head straight for Levi’s team. It’ll be fine,” she yelled back.   
Levi tried to hold his position as he hear the sounds of battle next to him. Even when he saw the order to move more to the left go up, he does not go far from the battle that raged close to him.   
It wasn’t until he heard Hange scream that he raced his horse to where she should have been. She should have been closer than she was. She wasn’t supposed to be far from his sight. But her group was several lengths away with the sound of their battle being carried through the trees.   
When he reached them, he screamed, “Where is Hange?”  
None of them could answer. They had been so busy fighting that they didn’t know where Hange was or what happened to her when she screamed.   
Levi searched frantically all around for her. The only traces of her that he managed to find after an hour of searching where her mare and her glasses which were covered in her blood.   
Levi crumpled to the forest floor as he let out an anguished scream. He felt the tears fall down his cheeks.   
Levi had lost the woman he had finally allowed himself to love.   
He should have protected her better and been by her side the instant the fighting had broken out.   
Levi felt he had no one to blame but himself as he sat there in the clearing looking up at the clear sky with tears flowing down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't murder me for what I've done.


	6. What Happens Next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a bit of motivation and I couldn't leave the story there. 
> 
> There is smut in this chapter just as a heads up. If you don't like the ship you can skip the rest of the chapter. If not enjoy. I know this is supposed to be a levihan fanfic.

No one really wanted to disturb Levi in the process of his grieving, so they let him grieve in the clearing for as long as they could.  
Levi let the tears fall from his eyes. He didn’t even notice when Eren and Armin sat down on either side of him. They put a hand on his shoulders and sat quietly with him. He did notice them when they placed their hands on him. He appreciated the silence and the company.  
Finally after some time had passed, Levi cleared his throat and said, “Thank you for understanding.”  
“You loved her,” Eren replied while Armin stayed silent in his own sorrow, “It hurts to lose those you love.”  
Eren’s words hung in the air between them. It was a natural silence one in which no words needed to be spoken and the truth that they were all mourning was accepted.  
“Hange’s gone. I should have been here. I should have protected her. And now she’s dead,” Levi ranted his voice broke when he said dead. He had to face the reality that he would never see her again with her again grinning goofily at him with those brown eyes of her’s shining. He would never hear her voice or the peel of her laughter. His heart hurt at this realization and bitter tears fell.  
“It feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest,” Erwin said coming up behind the mourning trio, “But it is time to move on. There is nothing more for us to do here.”  
Levi got up and whirled around to face Erwin with anger plastered on his face. “Do you even care that she is dead? Or was she just someone you could easily fuck and manipulate?” he screamed.  
Levi slammed Erwin against a tree, “She meant nothing more to you than that!”  
Erwin and Levi both realized that Levi was really just mad at himself and was hurting. Erwin maintained his composure while Levi screamed him. He leaned down and hugged Levi. “I’ll miss her too,” he whispered in his ear, “But she’s gone, and it is not safe outside the walls.”  
Levi nodded as he pushed away from Erwin. He mounted his horse after wiping away his tears and composing himself. He grabbed the reins to Hange’s mare.  
“Let’s move out,” Erwin barked and all of them began to prepare to move out, “We will be heading back to the wall.”  
The ride back to the wall contained a few titans crossing their path. Levi took down every titan, which helped him with the anger that he felt. He wished that he could stop the emotions that he felt. He wanted Hange to be on her horse riding beside him instead of having her mare’s reins tied to his stallion’s. He didn’t want to see that empty saddle. He didn’t want the tears to come.  
When they reached their fort, Levi locked himself in his room. He didn’t want to deal with anyone. He would go to Hange’s room later, but in that moment he couldn’t bring himself to face that empty room.  
Everyone left Levi alone for the rest of the day. He was grateful for the privacy and the time to grieve.  
A knock came at his door in the afternoon the next day. “Levi?” came a tentative voice through the door, “I was told to bring you some lunch.”  
“You can leave it by the door, Sasha,” he replied immediately recognizing the voice.  
“Everyone is worried about you,” she said softly as he heard her put the tray of food down, “Hange’s death come as a big shock to us all. She is already greatly missed.”  
Levi let out a sigh as he got up and opened the door. “I’ll be fine, Sasha. I just needed time to grieve away from everyone,” he said, “But now I’ll eat my lunch and join the rest of you.”  
Levi looked like crap and felt like a big hole was left where his heart was. But he knew that he would have to resume his duties soon, or he would be lost in his own grief if he didn’t push himself to do them. He patted Sasha’s head softly, and she tried to smile. But Levi could tell that she was extremely saddened by the loss of Hange. She had puffy eyes that gave her grief away.  
“It’ll be okay,” Levi said more to reassure himself.  
“For you, I hope so.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Months passed without much incident. They did go outside the wall, and Levi searched for any remains of Hange that could be found. He never found any signs from where she might have been. He didn’t have much hope that he would find anything, but he would have liked to know exactly what had happened to her.  
As those months passed, Erwin began to seem like his old self again. Levi noticed that he was being more compassionate toward others and not as strict when it came to the training schedule. He was becoming more and more the man Levi had loved. Levi wondered if this was all because of Hange’s death. He liked the changes he saw and knew that Erwin had earned a chance to win his trust back.  
Levi had all but moved into Hange’s old room when he was missing her and needed to remember what she smelled like. He had always loved the almost cinnamon scent that she gave off.  
It was in that room which Erwin found him. Levi had his face buried in on of her pillows. He didn’t even hear the commander when he entered the room.  
“Still smells like her,” Erwin commented.  
“It does faintly,” Levi responded as he peeked over the pillow at the tall blonde.  
“It’s been almost ten months. It has been very lonely without her laugh to fill the halls,” Erwin whispered as he sat down next to Levi, “I realize I did not treat her the way I should have, but I miss her.”  
“I miss her too.”  
“I also miss seeing you in good spirits,” Erwin said as he loosely wrapped his arm around Levi’s shoulders as tears threatened to fall from Levi’s eyes.  
“ I want the pain to go away,” Levi whispered brokenly.  
“Maybe I can help you with that,” Erwin said leaning down and kissing Levi’s lips deeply, “Let me try and fill you with happiness. I know I failed Hange, but let me make it up to you.”  
Levi was almost shocked by the kiss, but he knew that Erwin had never really stopped loving him when things halted between them. He desperately wanted to feel some shred of happiness. “I have nothing to lose by letting you try,” he responded before he kissed him back, “But let’s go to your room. I want this place to remain as it is.”  
Erwin nodded in agreement before he took Levi’s hand and lead him a few doors down to his room. The blonde practically picked the raven haired man up and tossed him onto his bed. The commander was on him in seconds kissing along his jawline and unbuttoning the corporal's shirt.  
Levi didn’t mind the attention. In fact, he could feel himself getting turned on by Erwin’s eagerness. He raked his fingers through Erwin’s soft hair pulling on it enough to make the blonde hiss in pain.  
Erwin swallowed Levi’s tongue when he moved to his lips again. Their tongues battled in each other’s mouths. It feels almost sinful and aggressive.  
Levi felt all the pain he had been feeling moments before slip away for the time being. He felt like he was being taken back to the past where everything had been great between them, and Hange had been this girl they both knew. It was almost blissful.  
Levi felt Erwin grind his erection against his through his pants.  
“I see it is still how I remember it,” Erwin chuckled, “I didn’t just dream it up.”  
Levi slightly glared at him for that comment before the blonde kissed him deeply while trying to get Levi’s pants out of the way. He helps Erwin to slip his pants and his undergarments off.  
Erwin had his own off in no time. He started to prep Levi, wiggling one finger into him and moving it about.  
Levi let out a deep moan and his hips rocked against Erwin’s finger.  
“It’s been so long,” the blonde whispered as the raven haired man’s face turned a shade of pink that is rarely ever seen on his face.  
When Erwin was sure that he could slip a second finger in without hurting Levi, he does so. He makes scissor like motions to stretch him to the point that he would be able to make love to Levi. All the while Levi was biting his lower lip trying not to moan at the pleasure he felt.  
It wasn’t until Erwin bit one of Levi’s nipples that he lets out a deep moan. Erwin kisses him deeply cutting the moan short. “Are you ready?” he asked.  
Levi nodded slowly before he felt Erwin slowly ease into him. He let out a soft his at being stretched a bit more.  
“Should I stop?” Erwin asked with concern in his eyes.  
Levi shook his head. “I’m fine.”  
It was true that Levi wasn’t used to the feeling anymore, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It actually felt good.  
Erwin gently rocked his hips causing himself to sink further and further into Levi. He let out a moan as muscles clenched around him. He had missed that smell of this man underneath him and the sounds that he made, though he would never admit it out loud to anyone.  
They rocked against each other writhing in pleasure. The pleasure took away all their pain and gave them a happiness that they sought for the moment.  
They continued until they were satisfied. Levi came around the same time as Erwin. Both of them were a sticky mess, but at that moment in time neither one of them cared. They ended up cuddling and falling asleep like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. Also my motivation might continue and we might see even more of the story in the coming days.
> 
> Please give me a comment or two. I do love reading them. Also please don't hate me for the Eruri. Levi and Erwin are coping on different levels at the loss of Hange. She was well beloved by both believe it or not.


	7. What Happed to Hange?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the question of the hour. Cause you have got to realize I was going to confirm what actually happened her.

Few months earlier

Hange felt the titan’s grip around her, and she screamed as it hurled her into a tree. She felt her back hit the tree hard and her head felt funny. It wasn’t until she put her hand to the back of her head that she realized she was bleeding lightly. She took a bandage out of a pouch she carried with her and quickly wrapped it around her head.  
She made to go at the titan again, but she realized that she was disorientated much too late. She collided with a tree branch knocking the wind out of herself. Her world went black as she used the last of her strength to climb into the tree.  
By the time she came to, it was night, and the Survey Corps was long gone. Her head throbbed, and she felt like she couldn’t move. But she knew that she would have too. She had to make it back. She had to tell Levi that she was still alive. That’s the reason they had left her, she realized. They had assumed her dead.  
She wanted to erase the sadness that Levi must be feeling. He had no reason to be sad while she was still alive. But she couldn’t go anywhere fast. She had no horse and little gas in her tank.  
Hange eased herself down from the tree and began trying to walk towards the wall. Her steps felt like agony, but she forced herself to keep going. She had to reach him as soon as she could.  
She stumbled through the forest avoiding titans and finding food to eat as she went for the first couple of months that she was missing. She slept lightly in the trees most of the day and walked at night.  
After those months, she started to grow bit by bit around her stomach area. She found herself subconsciously putting a hand over stomach protectively. She knew what was happening inside of her. The woman almost found herself in tears when she realized that she was growing life inside of her.  
How was she going to bring a child into this world, when whatever she managed to catch her meal, she would tear into it ravenously? Could she mange having the baby without eating it?  
Hange was so afraid. She knew it would be better if she tried to abort the baby, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. She couldn’t kill her and Levi’s child. At least she hoped that it was his child and not Erwin’s. She would not be able to face the sadness that Levi might have felt when she told him that she had killed their child, so she left it all to chance.  
As the months passed, Hange got bigger and bigger. It got harder and harder to travel as she tried to take good care of herself and the child within her.  
After about seven months passed, she heard horses race past where she had been hiding in order to catch some rest. She had been sleeping quite a bit since she had reached her third trimester.  
Hange tried to call out to them, but the day had blessed them with rain. And whoever had ridden past did not hear her calls over the sound of the rain and the horse’s hooves.  
Hange knew that the exit from the forest that led to the the gates they usually used had to be close, but she would have to figure out a way to get close to them without being seen by the titans, if she didn’t run into one of the members of the Survey Corps.  
She realized she might have to approach the wall by going through vacant town after vacant town hiding in the buildings. She would only be able to travel at night, if she was going to keep them safe.  
But just in case someone road back her way, she kept her position for a couple of days. When she was sure that they were not coming back this way, she made her way slowly to the edge of the forest.  
It took her almost a month in her condition as the baby started to kick and move more as each day passed. She had been overjoyed when she felt it and wished that Levi had been there with her. She reached the forest’s edge and felt the cool night air on her face as she looked up at the stars. It had been awhile since she had seen them so clearly. They were bright and beautiful. They filled her with wonder.  
“I hope you’ll get to spend many nights gazing at the stars with your father and me,” she whispered to her unborn child as she stroked her belly, “We’ll have to find a village close by when daylight comes. I hope we’ll see your dad soon.”  
The morning light came and with it the first glance of humanity that she had seen in almost eight months. She saw the wall in the distance and knew that with her mare it would have taken maybe a couple of hours. But on foot it would take days if not weeks in her current condition.  
She quickly assessed where she would need to head when night fell. She would have to use the stars to guide her to the nearest hiding place. She knew that by leaving the forest, she would lose a lot of the plants and animals that she had been making meals out of. But she had to go. She didn’t know what she would do if her water broke outside the walls. She knew this was a likely outcome at this point in her pregnancy, but she didn’t want to think about it in much detail.  
When she was done noting the path she should take, she went into hiding until night fell.  
By careful guidance of the stars, Hange made her way toward an abandoned farm house. She silently prayed that she would make it. She walked across the silent fields that had once been farmed but were now left to grow wild.  
She didn’t notice the titian footprint left in the dirt until it was too late. She lost her footing and came down on her left ankle wrong. She heard it snap and then felt the excruciating pain that came with a broken bone. She held back a scream by biting her lower lip so hard that she made it bleed.  
Hange silently cursed at herself for not paying more attention.  
After awhile, she tried to get to her feet but found she couldn’t do it. She would have to crawl to her destination or risk being eaten by a titan.  
She made her way slowly to the house. The squad leader managed to make it to the house as the sun lit up the fields surrounding them, turning the fields a golden color. She crawled through the door after she managed to get it open.  
Slamming the door closed behind her, Hange went about finding something to set her ankle right. She found some tattered clothing that looked like it had seen much better days. She wrapped her ankle up with some of the clothing and a few wooden spoons that she had managed to find in the kitchen.  
As much as Hange hated to admit it, she knew that she would be stuck here a couple weeks. She needed for her ankle to be able to support some of her weight before she dared go too far from this shelter.  
In the weeks spent in the house trying to gain her strength back, Hange started to think about names for the baby for the first time. She went through countless names in her head testing out how they would sound with the last name of Ackerman. She would smile softly and hug herself around her waist.  
When the time came when Hange felt she could leave the farm house and safely get to the next place on the route, she went but this time more carefully than the last.  
She felt small contractions like she had before at the farm house. She thought nothing of them except they hurt, but not so bad that she had to stop for long periods of time.  
But by the time she reached her destination, she was covered in sweat and the contractions were starting to hurt more. And it came as no shock at that point when her water broke.  
Hange ditched her clothes that were thoroughly drenched on the floor and made her way into the bedroom in a small cottage. She positioned herself on the straw mattress and prayed that the baby would come out easily.  
The contractions became more and more intense as the hours passed. She found herself biting down on her hand to keep the sounds of her screams muffled. It hurt more than anything she had ever experienced before. Her breath was labored and her hair matted to her face. She pushed hard. She knew their survival depended on the baby coming out as soon as possible.  
Hange was in labor for six hours until she finally with one last push, she brought a beautiful baby girl into the world.  
Hange gently patted the baby’s back. The little one began to cry. The new mother quickly calmed her infant.  
“It’ll be alright,” she cooed, “Just you wait and see.”  
Hange looked at her baby fondly. This life she had brought into the world was very precious to her. She knew that she could protect this child. Her need to protect would be greater than her need for flesh.  
Hange stayed in that cottage for a few weeks. She tended to her baby girl and gained back her strength.She knew it would be a long walk back with the infant. But she would get there.  
Hange gathered up the baby and made something of a sling to place her in, so she could have her hands free as she walked.  
She walked quite the distance before her luck had changed for the better. She saw a horse in the distance and let out a whistle.  
The horse galloped up to her at a great speed heeding Hange’s call. She grabbed the worn reins as the horse came to a stop in front of her. She patted the horse’s nose gently.  
“Thank you,” she whispered to it as she got on, “Take us home.”  
She urged the horse into a gallop as they headed straight for the wall.  
The people guarding the portion of the wall she was heading toward saw her approaching in the early dawn light. They ordered the gates to be opened for her as she neared the gate, and they saw the wings of freedom on her cloak that fluttered out behind her.  
“We made it,” she whispered to her baby girl as she came to a halt in front of one of the Garrison members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I didn't kill her. I don't think I could easily kill Hange off without crying over it for weeks. I love that girl. Also I'm levihan shipping trash through and through. They both deserve happiness after the hell I've been putting them through. But I did remain true to the title of this fic and may still continue to. But next time the reunion of Levi and Hange.


	8. Is This What Happiness Is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it is shorter than the last few chapters. But it is full of happiness. But it is as promised.

Erwin and Levi would probably have been content to spend the rest of that morning cuddling. But they both had duties that they must attend to. Troops to whip into shape and maybe some paperwork. But they weren’t going to move until they had to. This had been their morning ritual for the last three days.   
Erwin lazily kissed Levi’s lips as he tousled his raven hair. “We’ll have to move eventually,” he commented not making any attempt to move.   
“You’d be lazy all day in bed if someone let you be,” Levi said kissing him back lightly, “But I have to get clean and take my stallion out for a ride while you have paperwork that you have been putting off.”  
“Can I take a bath with you?” Erwin asked as the shorter man got up.   
“Not right now,” he replied, “There would be far too many people wanting to bathe at this time.”   
The blonde knew that this was more of an excuse for Levi wanting to be alone for awhile. He also knew the raven haired man did not feel feelings of romance toward him. It was clear as day that Levi was still trying to get over Hange. He was only trying to fill the void were she had been.   
Erwin watched Levi as he left the room in silence before he got up and started to get ready for the day. He took his time to give Levi his space.   
The raven haired man was quick to enter the bathtub. He let the warm water go up to his shoulders as he sunk down. The water was a relief for him. It washed away all that occurred the night before. And helped to erase the physical aches he felt.   
He dunked his head under water and felt as if he could become one with the water. If he was water then he wouldn’t feel any pain.  
When he could stay under no longer, he came up gasping for air as he broke the surface. He ran his fingers through his hair as he heard the door open.   
“Ow! Ow! Someone’s looking fine,” Jean cat called.   
Armin elbowed his boyfriend in the side glaring up at him. “Sorry to disturb your bathtime, but a messenger from the Garrison told us to pass on a message to you,” the blond explained, “Though we knew when we tell you, you’ll go flying out the door. So Jean and I prepared your horse.”   
“What is the message?” Levi asked not really sure of what he should think of their excited faces.   
Armin and Jean looked at each other for a second before Jean nudged Armin and he spoke the words Levi had been shocked and overjoyed to hear. “Levi.. Hange’s alive. She made it through the south gate early this morning…”  
Levi was up and out of the tub before Armin could get the whole message out. The blonde might have said more than that, but Levi didn’t hear it with all the thoughts he had going through his head.   
The woman he loved was alive. After ten months, she had made it back here. She really was Humanity’s Smartest.   
Levi quickly threw on his pants and shirt before cramming his feet into his boots. He had to see her soon. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her.   
No one stopped Levi as he jumped on his horse and brought it.to a run. Even if they had wanted to, no one could stop him or catch up with him   
Armin and Jean watched Levi disappear as they mounted their horses. “Go bring her back,” Armin whispered with a smile, “We’ll be right behind you,”   
“What are we going to do with a baby around here?” Jean asked.   
The short blonde shrugged, “I don’t know. All I do know is this is Hange’s home. Levi is her home.”   
Levi’s heart raced faster than his stallion's hooves. They were a black shadow covering a great distance.   
They reached the south gate barracks in little under an hour. His horse panted heavily. He came to a stop in front of one of the members of the Garrison.   
“Where is she?” he asked.   
They knew exactly what he meant and nodded in the direction of the medical building. “She’s in there. I can take care of your horse for you.”   
“That would be appreciated,” Levi said as he dismounted his horse. He was off in a sprint the moment his feet hit the ground   
He was through the doors in moments and all who saw him pointed him in the direction of the room Hange was in.   
“I’m fine,” he heard Hange insist as he entered the room.   
Both the doctor’s head and Hange’s turned toward him. Levi felt tears rush down his face when he saw her. He was so glad to see her and she him.   
She was in his arms crying with him in moments.   
“I thought you were dead,” he said burying his face into Hange’s grimy clothes.   
“I wish I could have gotten back sooner.” she whispered, “I would have loved to have you by my side when she was born.”   
Those words caught Levi off guard. He looked up at her with confusion in his eyes. Hange let out a laugh.   
“You only had eyes for me,” Hange joked lightly, “Come meet Isabel.”   
She took his hand and lead him over to a nurse who was holding the baby girl. Levi looked between Hange and Isabel.   
“I’m...Am I…” Levi started to ask as he looked down at the babe with the dark eyes and hair on her head.   
The baby smiled a toothless grin at him as Hange squeezed his hand. “Isn’t our daughter precious? I’m sorry I named her on my own,” she whispered softly, “I thought that Isabel would be a good name in honor of your friend…”  
“The name is perfect,” he replied still gazing at the child in wonder, “Can...Can I hold her?”  
“Of course you can, silly. She is your daughter after all,” she replied even though she wasn’t one hundred percent sure. The child could be taking on most of her traits. But one thing was for sure, she wanted Levi to be the child’s father and help her raise Isabel.   
The man gently took the baby girl in his arms cradling her for the first time. He smiled softly down at her and took her hand in his.   
“She’s perfect,” he said when he finally looked up at Hange, “She is just like you.”   
Hange saw the tears in his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him gently. “You’re perfect,” she whispered, “You’re already taking to being a dad.”   
Levi kissed her back deeply. “Well, Isabel needs me to be a good father,” he replied, “You are so strong. You brought both of you back her in one piece.”   
Hange giggled nervously. “I did break my ankle a couple of months age, so I could have done worse,” she replied.  
“Yeah, you could have done worse. You could have never came back, and then I would have never seen my two favorite girls,” Levi said sweetly.   
Hange’s laughter filled the room, and Levi felt himself laughing along with her. There was so much happiness in this room.   
Hange gently ruffled her lover’s hair noticing that it was still a little damp. “They caught you during your bath.”   
“Yeah. Both of you will need a bath when we get back,” Levi said as he sort of scrunched his nose then it dawned on him, “You are coming back with me?”   
“I have nowhere else to go no any other place I want to be,” Hange replied as she took Isabel who had started to fuss from hunger. She pulled her shirt away and put the child to her breast. Isabel took to her nipple and began to eat.   
Levi got down on one knee in front of the woman he loved and their child. “Hange Zoe, will you marry me and spend the rest of your days with me?”   
Hange began to cry at the sight of him asking her the question she had hoped he would ask her. “Yes. Yes! I will marry you,” she exclaimed.   
Levi got up and kissed her. “It might be hard, but I’ll do anything to keep you two safe. We will live together. I never want to let you out of my sight again.”   
“Well done lover boy,” Jean teased from the doorway as he fist bumped with Eren.   
Armin shook his head softly at his boyfriend and his best friend. “We came to bring you three back,” he said.   
“We even brought you your own horse, so you won’t have to ride back with Levi,” Eren said with a smirk,   
“Thank you,” Hange replied her cheeks slightly pink from the boys finding her and Levi in an intimate moment, “Are you two still together?”   
“Yes, they are still together. Jean makes so much noise that I can’t sleep,” Eren complained.   
“Then move into Mikasa’s room,” Jean shot back.   
Eren scowled. “Maybe I should invite her to my room to keep you up.”   
“Jean! Eren! Go check on the horses,” Armin commanded.   
The two left arguing all the way to the horses.   
“I’m sorry about those two,” the blonde said, “I hoped they would behave themselves.”   
“They are just how I remember them. But they seem to be getting along better,” she commented, “You are doing well.”   
Arming smiled at the woman who he admired as a sort of a mentor.. “Can I see her?” Armin asked hesitantly.   
“Of course,” Hange said letting Armin hold her, “I was going to ask Levi, but I want you to be her godfather.”   
“Really?!” the blond replied, “I’m very honored.”  
Armin turned to Levi to see if this was okay. Levi nodded and said, “I can’t think of anyone I’d trust our child to more.”   
Armin smiled brightly at the two of them. “Thank you.”   
“We should probably get going before it gets late,” Levi said with a sigh. He really didn’t want to face Erwin.   
“Probably,” Hange agreed softly not wanting to face Erwin even more than Levi.   
They headed out to the horses to find that they were ready to go. Hange took Isabel from Armin and fixed her into the sling.   
When they reached the fort, everyone crowded around to see Hange and Isabel. There were so many happy faces in the crowd.   
“Congrats,” Connie said as he held Sasha’s hand.  
“She’s beautiful,” Sasha exclaimed, “She’ll grow up to be quite the woman with the two of you as her parents.”   
They had a good meal in honor of Hange’s return. Hange and Levi visited with many people while Erwin kept his distance that evening. There were so many questions about how she made it safely back with Isabel.   
When Levi, Hange, and Isabel retired after proper baths, they all laid on Levi’s bed cuddled in close. Hange fell asleep pretty quickly. Levi watched his fiancee and daughter sleep for a while noticing how peaceful they looked before he fell asleep next to his girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not be writing more for a little bit. But we'll see. Next time know that Erwin will have to talk to them.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed and there may be more.


End file.
